The Werewolf
by Grasspaw
Summary: What will happen when the other three Marauder's discover Remus's secret? They've been friends for a long time now, but can their friendship last in some of the hardest times in their lives?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, let's see. Chapter one: Remus friends find out what he is. I own nothing.**

Remus was lying in bed, munching on some chocolate. Just then, the door opened and James, Sirius, and Peter walked in. They all looked unusually serious.

"Hey, guys," he had said.

"Hi," James said after a pause. And then, "Listen, Remus, we're tired of you lying to us. We've all agreed. No one is leaving this room until we get some answers."

"What?" Remus had asked, the perfect picture of confusion and innocence, though his mind was working frantically. "I haven't been lying to you guys."

"Yes, you have," Sirius answered before James could open his mouth. "You just did. And we're sick of it. We're your friends, Remus, and you can tell us anything. At least tell us where you go each month."

Remus calm facade shattered. "Fine," he whispered. So this was it. After a year and a half of (almost) perfect bliss, he was going to lose the only friends he had ever had. "I go up to the Shrieking Shack each month."

Peter had gasped, of course. "Why would you go there? It's the most severely haunted building in Britain! Have you ever heard those noises?"

Remus wanted to say, yes, I've heard those noises. Those noises ring in my ears. I practically hear nothing but those noises, Peter. Instead, he said, "Ghosts don't make those noises. I do."

James and Sirius's expressions turned gleeful. "Awesome! Can we come too, some time?"

"No!" All of them were surprised by the strength of the word, even Remus himself.

"Well," James said, a little impatient, even more concerned. "Why not?"

"Because," Remus said. "It's dangerous." I'm dangerous.

"But if we come it'll be less dangerous, right?" Sirius said. "We can share the burden of whatever it is."

"NO!" That thought was too much. He would not let them share his problem. His... lycanthropy. "You can't come! I won't let you!"

"Why not!? Obviously, whatever is up there is dangerous and you're facing it all alone! You need our help!"

Remus was on his feet now, yelling at a stunned Sirius. A shocked james. A quiverring mass of Peter. "Yes, what's up there is dangerous, but I can't let you get near it! It would kill you! Or, if you didn't die, you would live a cursed life! _A life like mine_!"

"W-what do you mean?" James asked quietly, his eyes wide and shocked. Remus was never angry. Remus was always calm. Remus never cried. But he was now, tears coursing down his cheeks. But he kept talking, a strange, wild look in his eyes.

"A life like mine, Potter. A cursed life. Do you know what that means? It means that my parents had to go into hiding with me when I was three years old. It means that have never had friends. It means that I shouldn't even be here. It means that if you come up to the Shrieking Shack with me, I will kill you. I won't mean too, but I will. I won't know what I'm doing, so I will. I won't recognize you, so I will bite you. And, if you somehow survive, you will be just like me. A beast. A monster. A horrible creature that has to be locked away each month.

"A werewolf."

They had all stare at him, their scared, concerned faces morphing quickly into cold hatred. For him. They hated him. He should never have come to Hogwarts. He knew this would happen. He should never had made friends. He knew this would happen. He knew. He had always known. But he had done it anyways, and it had been the best time of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, for those of you who read this before, I was going to write several oneshots about this, but then decided to make it one whole story! Ta-da! I own nothing.**

The Whomping Willow. It was really a strange thing, now that he thought about it. A _tree. _That _attacked_ people. Some of the students were frightened of it. Some thought it was just a joke. Some were injured by it.

And it was his fault.

If he hadn't come, that tree would never have been planted. That boy wouldn't be in the Hospital Wing right now. But, he had to admit, it had its uses. Not just guarding the secret passage, though he was grateful for that. But no, it had other purposes. It was _his _tree. No one else could get near it. Well, a few could. Madam Pomfrey. Dumbledore. Mcgonnigal. But he still considered it his tree.

He was the only one who really understood the tree. He knew that sounded strange, because who really understands a tree? Why would anyone _want _to understand a tree? Well, he didn't really. Want too, that is. But he did. In a way, they were similar. They were both normal, except under certain circumstances. He was a regular human most of the time. The Willow was a regular tree most of the time. They could both be ferocious when bothered. The tree was just bothered more often than he was, by kids trying to get close to it. It was the same for him. He was bothered by people trying to get too close to him. He couldn't let anyone know. And they would both just lash out a person, showing no mercy, if if people did manage to get too close to them.

And the tree had always understood him. That sounds even stranger, doesn't it? It was a tree. A particularly violent tree, granted, but still a tree. It couldn't understand a person. it couldn't think. But it did.

And he could always turn to it when he was in trouble, when he needed comfort. he could get right up next to it, and, instead of sending him flying, it would gently brush the top of his head with its leaves, as though in an attempt to calm him. It would work. It would always work. He would reach up, like a small child asking to be held, and grab onto one of the branches. And then, aided by the tree, he would climb up the trunk and sit on one of the higher branches.

There were these two branches on it that seemed to be made entirely for him to sit on. They were almost even with each other, one slightly above the other. They were about two feet apart. Lying on top of them with his legs resting on the lower branch and his back on the other, his side firmly pressed against the trunk, he would gaze up at the sky, thinking. Just thinking. Of everything. Of how wonderful life was here. Of how kind everyone was. Of James, Sirius, and Peter. Of his fear that someone would discover his secret. At this point, he would always start to shiver. When this happened, the tree would lower its branches an build a protective canopy around him, as though to sheild him from unwelcome eyes.

And so it was that one Friday afternoon in January, when he was twelve years old, in his second year at Hogwarts, he could be seen running to the tree at an all out sprint, tears streaming freely down his face. He ran towards it, not caring what people must think. Not now that he knew what _they _thought. He had thought they were his freinds. He had opened up to them, let his guard down. And they had been perfectly clear about how they felt about him, now that they knew.

They hadn't yelled, but he almost wished that they had. They had simply stared at him, cold hatred in thier eyes. Then, Sirius had spoken, his voice a deadly whisper. "Leave."

And Remus had run.

And now, exactly six minutes later, he was still running. He didn't care that it was freezing outside or that he didn't have a scarf, cloak or gloves. The cold helped numb the pain. He ran on bumping into people and not apoligizing. He had actually knocked into one person so hard that they fell down into the snow.

Remus had reached the tree now, and he reached up, and the tree lowered one of its branches to help pull him up. He climbed into his spot and the Willow, sensing his distress, had made the old, familiar canopy around him. He turned his head, pressing his face against the rough bark of the tree.

He didn't know how long he stayed like that, crying into the tree. He just knew that when he looked up, the stars had com out. He had stopped crying, and the tears were freezing on his face. He brushed them away with fumbling hands and started to climb down. When he reached the bottom, he looked back up at the tree. "Thank you," he whispered.

And he turned towards the castle, ready to face whatever was in store for him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay! This is chapter three! (But you probably knew that already) Remus's friends try to make up, but he holds a grudge. Incredible, isn't it? I own nothing. Also, sorry it took so long, but I burned my hand and couldn't type. Evil brownies! Evil oven! **

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since the only friends he had ever had had deserted him. All because of something that wasn't even his fault. He didn't _want _to get bitten. He didn't want any of it to ever happen. But it had, and they hated him for it.

He now hid from them. Well, not just them. He hid from everybody. He was already a quiet person, but now it was likely that he would lose his voice from lack of speech. In class, he sat in the very back corner and no longer gave the answer for almost every question. He sat there alone, his shoulders hunched, and just quietly took notes.

In Transfiguration, Mcgonnagal called him back after class. "Are you feeling okay, Lupin?" she had asked, sounding concerned.

He shook his head and looked down. "I'm fine, Professor."

Mcgonnagal knew he was lying, but she still didn't know exactly what about. She looked up and saw the other three boys hanging around outside the doorway. "Well, run along then," she said absentmindedly. "Your friends are waiting fore you."

She turned back to her papers, thinking that he would leave. Instead she just heard him whimper quietly. Looking up at him quickly, she saw that he seemed to have shrunk and was staring at the other three boys in what was obviously terror. And in that moment, she understood. They had found out. She sighed. "I'll speak to them, Remus."

When walking in the hallways, he stayed close to the wall and kept his head down, not speaking to anyone. Should he pass the other three boys, they would ignore him and he them. They pretended he did not exist, although occaisionally one of them couldn't resist sticking out a leg and tripping him.

He avoided most human contact, spending most of his time in the library or the kitchens. The kitchens were where he went when he needed someone to talk to, because the house-elves didn't care what he was: they couldn't be bitten. Although every sentence was puncuated by, "Yes, sirs," and "Yes, master Remus," they were quite amusing. At times.

But when the clanging of pots and pans got too loud for his extremely sensitive ears, he would get up and go hide in the library. It was _always _quiet in there; it was suspected Madam Pince would use the Tongue-tying Curse on anyone who was too loud. Also, he could gaurentee that his ther three dormmates would never go in there.

And then, of course, he could always go to the Whomping Willow.

He barely ate anything. He only spent about ten minutes total in the Great Hall. Five in the morning, when barely anybody was up, and five minutes at night, just before they cleared the food away. He skipped lunch each day. He was growing thinner and thinner, which was quite a feat for an already unnaturally thin boy. The other boys watched his distruction with vindictive pleasure.

He went to bed late, after the other three were already asleep. He woke up early, before they were awake.

In this way, they were together as little as possible.

One evening, he was sitting in the common room reading a book, of course, when the portrait hole opened up and the other three tumbled in, laughing their heads off at some new prank or another. He burrowed further into the couch cusions, hoping they wouldn't see him. When other people were around, and there was a chance they might get in trouble with a teacher, they ostly left him alone. But when it was just the four of them, they could be downright nasty.

His overly sensitive ears picked up the scuffling of their feet as they walked towards the stairs, then their whisperings. Though they were obviously trying to be quiet, he could hear every word they said.

"Hey, look. There he is."

"Acute observation, Peter. Of course he's there."

"Sirius, lay off on him. Let's go and talk."

They walked cautiously over to Remus and he froze. He was unnaturally still. What would they do to him this time?

"Er..." That voice belonged to James. "Hey, Lupin." Remus's ears pricked up. There was something different in his tone. Fear? Most definetely. Anger? Possibly; it was hard to tell. Repentence? Absolutely not.

"Well... we were just wondering... I mean, Snivellus just tried to hex Peter... And we all agreed that he needs us to get him back... And you're the best with spells... So we were wondering... Wouldyouliketocomeandprankhimwithustomorrow?"

Remus raised and eyebrow, allowing his scepticism and disbelief to show.

"He means," Sirius said. "That we want to be mates again." He reached out a hand with the most charming smile he could muster.

Remus's other eyebrow went up. So that was it? They wanted his friendship back. As though it was that easy. They had pushed him awaywithout a second thought, been heartless and cruel, and now they thought he could just forget all that? He wasn't like a little puppy. He couldn't just forget everything, keep coming back to them with a wagging tail. That wasn't the way he was.

He reached out a hand, aiming it at Sirius's. The tall boy's smile widened. He obviously thought Remus was going to take his hand.

Remus slapped it away. He saw the shocked look on all three boys' faces. He stood up. "It doesn't work that way," he whispered feircely. Then, slightly louder, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be." He jerked his head towards the window, where the sun was about thirty minutes away from setting. "That's right." He was whispering again. "It's tonight." He spun on his heel, heading towards the portrait hole. He could feel their shocked gazes on his back, but he ignored them. Just like they had ignored him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, sorry if the ending of the last chapter seemed kinda weird, but I _really_ wanted to put this part in the next chapter, so I just _had _to end it there. You understand, don't you? Please don't hurt me. I own nothing.**

Remus opened the Hospital Wing door. "Sorry I'm late, Madam Pomfrey. I got held up."

"Never mind," the young witch said, hurrying over to him. "Just go! Get down there! You have to be there in time or else... Just go!"

He nodded and sprinted off, keeping to the shadows. Finally, he made it to the Great Hall. He opened the doors and ran outside as fast as he could. He knew all the exercise would not help; the transformations were better when the wolf was rested, but he didn't care. Just as long as no one else was hurt. Besides, he knew that it would be a bad one anyways. It always was when he got especially stressed out.

Just as he made it to the Willow, he felt it. A strange, alien presence, taking over his mind. He told himseld to move, to grab the stick and prod the knot, to run down the tunnel and into the Shack, but his body would not listen to him. He felt a tingling sensation, starting at his feet, and moving upward over his body. No, this couldn't be happening. Not on this night. He knew the wolf would rage more than usual, and he couldn't get in the Shack. Using all of the will power in his body, he tried to reach down and grab the stick. He was bending down... But something was wrong... He was lurching forward... He landed on his hands and knees.

And then, it really started. The tingling became a fierce burning, ripping at his insides, as the fur sprouted all over his body. His bones were shortening and lengthening. Some were disappearing entirely. Some were just appearing. He groaned involuntarily. It turned into a whimper, then a howl.

At the edge of his vision, he could see three figures running towards him. With every last bit of strength left in his body, he said quietly, "No..." They had to leave! He could feel his canines lengthening into fangs. Any second now his bite would carry the disease in it... What if he bit one of them?

And then, he lost himself completely.

* * *

"That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life."

"I can't believe he has to go through that every month.

"He doesn't deserve that."

"Do you think he might have bitten one of us?"

"Course not, he's Remus."

"But he's not always Remus. He wasn't then, anyways."

"Shut up, you're going to wake him."

Remus groaned. Every muscle in his body ached, and his head was pounding. Why was everyone yelling? He squinted his eyes shut, willing the extremely loud voices to leave.

"Oops. Too late. I think he _is _awake."

Remus moaned. He heard footsteps, coming towards him. "Now, you three boys need to leave. You've been here for two days, and you need to get back to your studies." Thankfully, this voice was not as loud. He heard grumbling and someone muttering something under their breath, then three pairs of feet stomping away.

"Remus?" The voice was gentle. "Are you okay?" He moaned quietly in reply. "I suppose not," the voice said again. "After all, you wouldn't be. That was the worst transformation yet, wasn't it?"

Transformation? What was that person, whoever they were, talking about? Then, his mind seemed to fast forward. He was turning into a wolf... But he wasn't in the Willow... Or the Shack... His eyes snapped open. He immediately regretted this action. The light seemed blinding. Someone's face was swimming into veiw. It was Madam Pomfrey. He closed his eyes again. It was warm in this room. He was wrapped in clean sheets. It was quiet. He was either lying on a very comfortable cot in the library or he was in the Hospital Wing.

He opened his eyes again. He tried to speak, but found that he couldn't. He looked up into the mediwitch's face, silently begging her to tell hi what happened. "No one was hurt," she said immediately. "At least, no one but you." He voice was still soft. "The wolf seemed particularly angry that it was cheated out of three victims, and it turned on you instead. You almost died."

Remus didn't care, though, that he was half-dead, that he couldn't talk, or that he felt like he had just been run over by a steamroller. No one else had been hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okie Dokie! I just _ADORE _Remus/Lily, so I put a teensy bit in there. Forgive me. I own nothing.**

Madam Pomfrey continued. "Apparently, your dormmates were watching from a window as you walked to the Willow. When they saw you freeze, they guessed what was happening and ran out to help you. They risked their lives. They managed to get you through the tunnel just seconds before the transformation was complete."

* * *

The next day, Remus could croak out a few words. "I'm hungry," were his first. They were haulting and broken, but it got the message across. Madam Pomfrey brough him a tray full of food. The next day, he could speak a little more. "How much school did I miss?"

The day after that, his first order: "Don't let them in." He knew he should be grateful to the other three boys, but he was still just plain terrified of them. He didn't want to see them, not yet.

In a week and a half, he was able to leave the Hospital Wing. Walking slowly and with a pronounced limp, he had slowly made his way up the stairs towards the Gryffindor Commom Room. However, when he got to the Portrait hole, he could not get in. He said softly, "Codswallap," but the Fat Lady shook her head.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "I thought that was the password."

"It was a week ago, but not anymore. I'm sorry, but you can't come in unless you have the new password."

He groaned. "I've been in the Hospital Wing for a week and a half, I wouldn't know it."

"I'm still sorry, but I still can't let you in."

He groaned again, set his books down, and plopped down next to the Portrait Hole. He sat with his elbow propped up on his knew and his chin resting in his hand, waiting for someone to show up. It was actually kind of nice. The climb up had taken a lot out of him and he was exhausted.

After ten minutes, he heard three sets of feet. His heart sank. He really didn't want to talk to them...

But it wasn't them. It was Lily Evans and two of her friends. "Remus!" she cried happily, sounding excited. "Hi! Where've you been? We missed you!"

He smiled a little sadly, but it was more of a grimace. He didn't think he could ever smile again. "I was in the Hospital Wing. And _she,"_ he jabbed his thumb in the direction of the Fat lady, who scowled at his back, "Won't let me in because I don't know the password."

"Oh, okay." She turned to the portrait. "Soap bubbles," she said. The painting swung open. The four of them climbed through. As soon as they entered, Lily's two friends departed, giggling madly about something. "See you, Lily," one of the called over her shoulder, smiling slyly. Lily rolled her eyes. "See you."

"What was that about?" Remus asked, amused.

"Oh, I told them I've never been in a relationship with a boy before, because why would I want to be, I'm only twelve? And since then they've been trying to set me up with practically every male in the castle. You're the..." She pretended to count on her fingers. "Seventeenth."

He looked at her amusedly. "Yeah, James and Sirius used to do the same thing with me."

"Used to?"

His face seemed to freeze, the happy, emotionless mask painted on. "Yeah. Used to."

She looked at him curiously but said nothing. For a few moments. He went and sat down at a table, drobbing his bag by the chair. "So, what'd I miss?"

She sat down across from him. She smiled a little, and said, with a conspirital wink, "Well! Potter's been trying to get me to go out with him. That Ravenclaw boy is going out with the short Hufflepuff girl, and even though he's like, two feet taller and three years older than her, everyone agrees that they make a really cute couple, and Mary Ann, oh, you know mary Ann don't you? She's that third year, Gryffindor, you know. The one with blond hair, well, she got a paper cut, and _Joe Bluher _kissed it! So they're going together now, and-"

"I meant school-wise."

She pretended to look shocked. "Oh, of course, but... This is so much more _interesting... _Who cares about _school?!"_

The corner of his mouth twitched in the ghost of a smile. "Only dorks like us."

She sighed. "True that. Here," she reached into her bag and extracted a pile of notes. "Here you go. Binns assigned us a foot and a half on the Giant Wars, and we have to practice some Charms. Other than that, you didn't miss much."

He nodded and started to read them. "Thanks."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Then, Lily said in an uncharactoristacally (I know I misspelled that. Deal with it) shy voice, "Remus? If you don't mind my asking... What happened? I mean, between you and the other three. And why were you in the Hospital Wing so long? That is, if you don't mind telling me."

She looked at him nervously. He sighed. "No, it's okay. They, er, were angry about something that _wasn't my fault, _and stopped talking to me for a while. Then, they suddenly decided to be my friends again." His hands clenched into fists involutarily. "But it doesn't work that way, does it?" He was talking more to himself than Lily now, and she had to strain her ears to hear him. "I'm not just a dog that'll come back to them no matter what. They can't just push me away like that. I'm not a dog," he repeated. "I'm a wolf." He whispered the last part so quietly that she couldn't hear him.

"But... Why were you in the hospital Wing so long?" He didn't answer, and she decided not to push it.

Just then, they heard three pairs of footsteps coming down the steps from the second year boys' dormitory. Remus stiffened. James, Sirius, and Peter came down the stairs. When they saw Remus, all three broke out in huge grins. So they were still trying to be friends. James waved. "Hey, Remus!"

They walked closer. Then Sirius said, "What's up? I see your stealing Evan's notes!"

They walked still closer. Peter said in a squeaky voice, "So you're finally out of the Hospital Wing!"

He nodded. Upon closer inspection, he saw that their smiles appeared forced. He could smell a hint of anger, sadness, hurt, and trepidation coming off of them. He stood. "Thanks, Lily," he said, not looking at her. Instead, he kept his eyes on the other three. With a barely noticable nod, indicating for them to follow him, he stalked off to the stairs. They followed.

He reached the door and opened it. Wothout a word, he limped over to his bed and sat down on it. The other three sat on Sirius's bed, facing him. He raised and eyebrow. "Well?"

James looked down at his feet. "We _are_ sorry, Remus. We know how much it must hurt."

"Liar. You don't know, you can't know."

Sirius spoke. "But we want to know. And we can't if you don't tell us. And Remus, we want to be friends again."

"You think it's just that easy? Because it's not. Say you were a werewolf. And say you've tried for a year and a half to keep it secret. And then, the only three friends you've ever had find out. They start to hate you. They abandon you. They are entirely cruel to you. And then they think you can just forget it and come back to them, be their friend again."

"But," James said after a pause. "You have to look at it from our point of view, too. Pretend you've been raised your whole life being told that werewolves are evil, blood-thirsty monsters. No offense, by the way, that's just what the books and my parents say. And then, you come to school and make a new friend. Later, you learn that he is a werewolf. How would you react? It's not easy, Remus. We were surprised. We didn't know how to react. So, we went by the books. We hated you."

"But then," Peter jumped in, "After we thought about it, we realized that you're not like that. You would never voluntarily hurt one of us, or anyone else. We want to be your friends again, and we hope you can forgive us."

Remus looked up, tears in his eyes. "I'll try."


End file.
